As of tomorrow, that’s exactly how many days I have left as a mommy of 1 – my firstborn. Yes, I’ll still be his mommy on Day 54. But life will change quite dramatically for the 2 of us in ways I’m only able to guess as I observe other families grow from 1 child to 2.
As much as I hate the fact that I have to endure another C-section, the “silver lining” is the predictability of it; the ability to truly plan & have all the necessary things in place to (hopefully) create a smooth transition for all of us as this new little life enters our world. Of course, God has a wonderful sense of humor & I could feasibly go into labor prior to the scheduled surgery, but I don’t like thinking that way as it only decreases my sweet harmony I have in my days with Bubbs by even less.
Being in the third trimester has brought on so many emotions, most of which I don’t remember dealing with in the first pregnancy. There are days I can’t even look at Bubbs without tearing up & feeling a sense of loss. While at the same time, feeling a sense of hope, urgency & anticipation at the thought of finally getting to meet the new Little One who’s been making his presence known for quite some time now – the heartburn, the kicks, the heartburn, the rolly polly tumbles, the heartburn, the jabs….you get my point.
I will forever be in awe of thanks to the Lord for giving me such a wonderful boy & the beauty of the last 2.5 years with him. No doubt, if you know us in person, they most certainly have not been the easiest 2.5 years of my life. And to be honest, there is a certain level of fear at the “not knowing” of what this next Little One will bring to our family.
But no matter what, I’m thankful I can look at Bubbs & see beauty & joy & wonder, regardless of how difficult the adjustment was that first year for all of us. And I am confident that no matter the temperament or challenges this next child brings, that God’s mercies will continue to be new every day, that His love will sustain me, & that He will provide the necessary endurance Hubbs & I will need to face each day with joy & gratitude.
PS – the potty training has gone to the wayside a bit. But a small success was discovered yesterday…Bubbs prefers to stand & pee rather than sit & NOT pee. Who knew??