Once again I am faced with a sinking suspicion that I’m getting older. Not just physically (which even that is becoming a sad reality on some days!) but more mentally. And I don’t necessarily mean “wiser” when I say “older”, although I would like to think wisdom is something I possess now and in years to come.

No, I mean I’m getting older in terms of social “stuff.” It used to be most any commercial would come on the TV or radio and I would fully grasp the intent, the meaning, the product that was being pitched, the reason behind why that particular person was doing the pitching. It used to be I felt “connected” to life in general, so when a particular subject came into conversation I could prattle on with the best of them, never missing a beat and practically sounding as though I had personal experience with said subject.

Not anymore. No, I am definitely having to face a new reality. My 20-year high school reunion is this summer and I can now firmly admit that I am NOT able to grasp the concepts of certain commercials; that more often than not I honestly do not recognize half of the celebrities or “reality celebs” that grace the cover of the magazines in the grocery store checkout lane; that even though I have used a computer for over 15 years, I am embarrassingly unaware of how to even properly “operate” this blog. I spend a little time going through the different “links” on my “dashboard”, trying to figure out what things mean, and I come up feeling quite clueless.

And that is one thing about me that I struggle with: feeling stupid. I’ve battled it my entire life. So seeing a commercial for something and literally not be able to give one single comment about it except to say “I have no idea what that commercial was even for!” brings me back to that same insecure feeling.

Another example: I was given a fantastic, surprising gift of an iPod Touch for Christmas. Even though I am really not a “gadget” person, I was thankful; it looked “fun”, useful, interesting….and I have no idea how it works. I get the “concept” of it, but so far I can’t figure out how I’m supposed to use it! I went on the Apple webpage for the product and I’m still in the dark. Do I need an account to make the Internet links work? If it has all these “apps” buttons, but I can’t connect to any of it, then what is the point? The commercials look cool – the music part sounds fun…but for now, it’s just a super fancy brag book that holds pics of my boys. I’ve asked a few people about it and since no one has one (they have iPhones), then they can’t really help. I’ve been told “go visit the people at Apple”.

Right….in my spare time, with my kids, I’ll be schlepping to the Apple store in the city to have a guy look at me like I’m STUPID because I don’t understand how to use the iTouch. Right….

And when these feelings come up, the best defense I’ve got is to remember that “stupid” is only a feeling. It doesn’t define me. It isn’t what people see when they interact with me (hopefully).  It isn’t of God. And I am more than my self-imposed limitations.

So if you happen to get a really nice iTouch from me for Christmas this year, feel free to visit the Apple store because I will certainly be of no help to you!

What about you? What makes you feel “old”? Is there a gadget or other item that makes you scratch your head, wondering what the buzz is all about? Do you embrace the idea of getting old or do you try to combat it? And for the love of Pete, would someone PLEASE fill me in on what “3G”, “4G”, etc. means?? Thanks!

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