From a very young age, I can remember never taking issue with having to vomit. Whether it was spewing on the side of the road while walking home on a hot summer day with a frozen lemonade in a cup or having that sixth sense that my brother was gonna hurl in about 5 seconds while on vacation in someone else’s very borrowed, very new car, I just don’t mind it at all.

It wasn’t until about 5 years ago that I heard a member of my family mention that they never upchuck in the toilet. Huh? This person said they puke in a bathtub or a sink. That made no sense to me then and as of tonight, I am still stuck to my ways. I’m a toilet girl, through and through!

Throwing up nearly always made me feel better, so why would I try to control all that’s going on in my gut and not let it be free? Not let it out?

Once I hit my college-age years, vomiting became a subject of interest. No, I wasn’t a big partier and the one time I intentionally got blasted drunk I didn’t even throw up the next day. Felt sicker than a dog all day and swore I would never do that again, but I did not puke. An episode of Seinfeld was about just that: vomit. Apparently Jerry had never thrown up in his entire life and he wasn’t about to start as an adult. Elaine, of course, thought that was the stupidest thing she had ever heard, which is pretty much what I would have said to him as well! I think the episode ended with Jerry finding a hair in something and that triggered his first visit to the toilet on his knees. I distinctly remember watching that episode and thinking, “There’s people out there who don’t throw up??”

As I think back to the many roommates I had in a 10-year period, there really weren’t that many times of puking. Were they quiet hurlers? Embarrassed when they had the flu? Or were not wanting to reveal they had too much to drink? One friend was quite similar to Jerry. Though she had indeed let it fly before, it wasn’t something she…”welcomed” shall we say. She would do everything in her power to not throw up, even though that’s what her gut was begging her to do!

I’ve had a few of those moments myself, one of them forever etched in my memory as the “Boat Ride From Hell.” But that’s another story for another day, and trust me, it’s a story that I tell time and time again to anyone who will listen.

Once I hit about 7 weeks into my first pregnancy is when vomiting hit a new dimension for me. It was as if God had allowed me to be completely free and comfortable with the idea before getting pregnant so that during those months of pregnancy I would not believe that I was harming myself or my child by the amount of times I had to puke.

Hubs once told me, after another session with the toilet of course, that he thought I had puked enough for one person that I shouldn’t ever have to do it again. Aw, that was sweet. I’ve since learned he’s one of those folks who rarely has to vomit. I guess it’s best to have 1 of each kind in the home!

About 5 months into that pregnancy is when the puke sessions were actually starting to wear me out. Thankfully I found a doctor who helped me get things under control, but it wasn’t without some effort on my part. I have never been more thankful for a drug called Zofran. It’s meant for those who have to endure chemotherapy; it’s that powerful of a drug. The moment I’d feel the nausea coming on, I’d take 1/4 of a pill and within about 2 minutes it would all be gone. For 24 solid hours. Bliss!

The nausea happened again with my second pregnancy but I had learned many things since then and got on the Zofran at about the 7th week. More bliss! Yes, I still puked with the flu and such, but at least that was once or twice a year and not 5 or 6 times a day.

Which brings me to today. I know, if you’ve read this far, you’re thinking WHAT are you talking about this for??? I’ve been puking and dealing with nausea for the last 2 weeks or so. I’m not pregnant (at least according to the stick tests) and the only other times I’ve dealt with nausea have been during pregnancy or while taking a form of birth control hormone.

Ahhhh…after a visit to my doctor today, he explained that yes, even though I had been nausea and headache-free for the first 3 months of this particular birth control pill, that it doesn’t mean it won’t just happen at some point later on. So once again, I’m reminded that hormones do not jive well with me. I had only been on birth control for about 3 months in my life before trying it again this summer. I had quit the first time because I puked whenever I took the stuff!

So even though one doctor is telling me it’s not the pill, I’m beginning to believe that it is the pill that has been causing me much unwanted pain and puking for 2 weeks now. I’m testing my theory by stopping tonight, which means hot flashes should start up again in about 3 or 4 days and then I’ll be back to “square one” with dealing with menopause.

The toilet will always be my friend. Hormones, not so much.