Category: Parenting

Strong enough

2:15am – I hear L wake up, rock him for a bit, lay with him in his bed for 45 minutes

4am – I’m still not asleep; thankfully everyone else is

5am – L wakes up and is in our bed

5:30am – D is awake and is in our bed

6:30am – up for the day with 2 high-energy boys

9am – leave for the library; all is quiet until check-out time; I have to hold L as he screams his head off…in the library

10am – arrive at Target; L’s screaming begins again

10:15am – L’s screaming continues, regardless of my insistence otherwise, regardless of me holding him, letting him walk, giving him something to drink, letting him play with the toys – loud, obnoxious screaming

10:30am – escaping Target with the tears on the rims of my eyes and my head desperately trying to convince my heart to not be concerned at the stares of other adults, the laughter of the teenage girls

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A world of hurt

Tonight was the 2nd time that Hubbs and I were able to attend a foster care pre-service class together, something I’ve really come to appreciate. There is a lot of information dished out in these classes; they run 3 hours long and they don’t start until 6:30pm. By that time my brain and body are pretty much exhausted, regardless of what kind of day it’s been.

Last night’s class was about mandated reporters of suspected child abuse in the state of California. Who they are, what the legal definition of child abuse is, signs to look for, when to call, what the interview process is like for the child, scenario examples of home visits from licensed social workers, when mandated reporters drop the ball on reporting abuse and why.

The goal is to remove the risk from the child, not to remove the child from the risk.

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Ridd Quicks vol. 7


I feel like a broken record, but I do believe there has been illness in our home more days than not this year. D was sick last week. I got it over the weekend. And L is now on meds. Everyone in this house but Hubbs has a cough, still. “Purposeful” has become quite the challenge for me!

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You know the feeling of being so excited to go somewhere, see something new, have good conversation, the kids will be happy, they’ll meet some new play pals, the coffee will be yummy, the sun is shining, the car is working, the sleep was bad, the morning was early (again), the older one is melting down, the cough is strong, the nose is running with a tissue not far behind, the kids are screaming, the tears are flowing, the kids are tearing apart library books, the kids know only how to disobey, the sun is still shining, the yelling has started, the “mommy monster” has arrived, the little one refuses to let me take his pj’s off (again), the phone calls have started, the discouragement has set in, the videos are quickly being destroyed, the chicken soup has been started, the final decision has been made, the wishful thinking has begun, the fight to feel hopeless or angry is creeping in at every angle, the request has been made for doing “art” and the lightbulb goes off in your head because 5 hours of being awake has finally led to something peaceful…for 10 minutes anyways?

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The process of becoming

MP900341533As I drove home from class tonight, I found myself thinking the same thoughts as last time. The houses look different now than they did 3 hours ago. What’s going on in there? It looks peaceful, safe, clean on the outside…but is it? Is there a child there? Are they loved? Are they paid attention to?

Then my thoughts begin to doubt again. Can we really do this? There are so many unknowns. Today was an emotionally draining day for me. I had a headache. I lost my temper with the boys…more than once. Continue reading

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